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Right now, I really don't know. If you asked me every other day, the answer might change.

Growing up, it's the second thing I ever wanted to be. First was an architect.

I was born in 2001 and started watching YouTube around 2007-2009. My best friend Tyler Loughery put me onto it. He also showed me the depths of the internet.

The era of MrBubbles414.

A couple years later, and he was posting his own videos on there. His username was MrBubbles414 (MrBeast who???).

At first, he used YouTube as a way to document his new baby brother, Dean. He called it the, "BABY DEAN SHOW".

In other videos, he acted as different characters. He did skits, sketch comedy, and talked about video games.

I was so fascinated when he started pressing publish on YouTube.

I forget if he had the Motorola Droid smartphone first or a camcorder but we made videos with whatever we could.

Every time I went over to his house, I wanted to make a video. We did skit type videos together.

Influenced by Smosh.

They showed us what was possible on YouTube beyond home videos. I don't think I ever had the thought, "Are they making money off this?"

Maybe I assumed so since they were so popular but all I know is I wanted to make videos. It was fun for Tyler and I. He did all of the editing too.

I just wanted to make videos with my best friend. Like Ian & Anthony were doing with Smosh.

It wasn't always fun. There were times we didn't want to make videos. There were times that Tyler specifically didn't want to.

It was probably because of how much work he had to do on the editing side. Maybe it was the social pressure that comes from posting yourself online.

Fast forward to today.

Tyler has overcome that social pressure in his own way. He is part of a band called ABBATIA with two childhood friends of ours, Dylan, and Jazz.

Tyler and I are still best friends to this day. We still hangout and our families are close. We make videos together but not in the same way.

Tyler does all of the band's editing for music videos and social media. I've helped them film a few music videos and I record their shows sometimes. Lady Casey does their photography and video as well.

Tyler may not be a YouTuber today, but he performs music in front of live crowds. He's able to express himself on stage. I can't speak for him entirely but it seems those social pressures don't exist in the way they did before.

He seems free on stage... A true artist in a state of flow...

YouTube was just a part of the journey for him. From an early age, it taught him how to express himself through a medium of art and gave him the editing experience he still uses today.

He does everything from writing music, performing, filming, editing, 3D modeling, SFX, and more. And he's really good at it.

I admire Tyler, Dylan, and Jazz. They've found something they truly love and it shows through their process and performance. I believe in ABBATIA.

So what's my journey?

Is my "need" to be a YouTuber genuine or was that time just a start of a different path for me, just as it was for Tyler.

I really don't know, but I'm figuring it out. I have a passion for making photos, videos, and editing, but I can't decide whether I belong in front of the camera, or behind it.

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